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Hurt ,Pain, and Silent Suffering



A break up. It is one of the worst things a young female can bare, next to childbirth of course. For your heart to break into pieces . It hurts oh so badly. I wish that I didn’t love him. I ended a three year relationship because I knew that I couldn’t be that nice sweet girl anymore. She’s dead. He wanted me to bring her back  but that’s not who I am anymore.

I’m angry at him for all the cheating. Not only did he cheat but he did it as I carried and gave birth to his child. That is unforgivable. I can act as though I moved past it but then I will begin to look like a woman with the bipolar disorder. I tend to be happy one second but the moment he chews his food or the sound of his walk irritates me. I don’t know. Is that a sign? Is it a sign that this breakup was long overdue? I’ve been cheated on , beaten, raped , I even experience a person spitting at me for the first time as if I’m the dirty one. As if I broke his heart.

NO ! I’m not wrong. Save your tears for someone else to come and mop up. It wont be me. I can’t. I love him but the moment I show sympathy he will think I didn’t mean it.  I mean  it . I want to be alone without him. I have my son. I’m working on a legacy for further generations that will go on and on and continue so.  He said this relationship was a waste. How dare he right? We have a son. It was well worth it to me. We have the greatest gift on earth. A child. I made my decision and I did it for him. I ended us for him and for myself.

This relationship was so toxic. I see him in a whole different way. I still love you, but I no longer like you. I wish we could have ended on a good note.

It’s possible to love someone and not be in love. It is possible to love someone and not like them.

The real key is when a couple no longer bring happiness to each other it’s time to let each other  go.




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